It's Not Easy Being a Green Junkie

NIN's Hurt, as performed by Sad Kermit.

(Probably NSFW: language, Heroin Junkie Kermie, general wrongness)

The AccordionGuy blogged this before I did. That doesn't make it right.

Kermit the Frog is beloved by millions. Not just liked. Beloved. How could any star, amphibious or not, handle that kind of pressure?

Sure, it's easy when you start out. Do a little kids show, get noticed, go on a few talk shows, pretty soon you get on a bigger kids show, you're the king of children's TV. Then you get a variety show. You're the star. You're on top of the world baby! But do you think this is easy? 5 years of tantrum throwing co-stars, Hollywood has beens, the constant pressure of a live show, and everyone wants you to be that funny, cheerful muppet they expect you to be. Sure, there's love affairs, movies, and all the trappings of fame, but is it really enough? Enough to compensate for that empty feeling inside?

No one talks about the dark years, after Jim died. About losing your voice. Lesser muppets told all, but not you. No one knows what it's like. To be the sad frog. to be the bad frog. Behind white eyes.

Oh Fonzie, Why?

Strong Kids, Safe Kids!
(Possibly NSFW - frank discussion about bad touching)

Okay, yes. It's been a Looonngg while since I've posted. I got pretty busy with work, and the dog ate my blog posts, and I'm feeling some kind of existential angst anyways....

The bottom line is I became a giant blogcrastinator, if there is such a word. I inadvertently almost fulfilled this prophecy (it's French for it's in now the hip thing to have abandoned your blog), lovingly posted to my MySpace blog page by Amy soon after I started (Thanks ;-}).

Not like Fonzie. When he sees a problem, he not only does something about it, he enlists the help of all of his celebrity friends, including Henry Winkler (don't think about that too hard), John Ritter, and Mariette Hartley.

So why does this '80's era PSA feel so horribly, horribly wrong? It has famous people. It has rainbow colours. It has puppets! It has a child psychologist! Okay, maybe it's the child psychologist, Sol Gordon. He's one of Oprah's pet experts now, and has been doing this for years, but there's something wrongtacular about the way he says vagina. It could also be Chris Wallace, the fellow in the overalls with the ukelele guitar. Henry Winkler says not to forget him. How could I? That song will be in my head every time I look "down in front". And if I'm not supposed to forget him, how come history seems to have? These questions will haunt my dreams.

Damn you, Fonzie. Damn you to heck.

UPDATE 23/03/07 9:27 AM
Fixed the link to Amy. Also, I forgot to mention that Myya sent me this. My apologies.

The Uncensored Reply

My Box

(NSFW: language, references to Canada's National Symbol)

The Internets work at lightning speed.

How else to explain this reply to the Justin Timberlake / Adam Samberg video I posted just before Christmas. Well, OK - It had been on the air a few days before that, and I'm actually posting this a week after it first hit the net, but I'm saying that the Internets work at lightning speed, not me personally.

So anyways. She calls herself Bunny. Her voice sounds pretty good. She's been blogging about it. She has a box. For You.

I usually post only one thing a weekend, but since I was lazy on Tuesday, here ya go. There'll be something else tomorrow.

Viewer Mail

Okay, so in an effort to accommodate my legions of adoring fans (alright, Adam, my legionnaire of vague tolerance) I've decided that if someone sends me a vid and I haven't figured out what to post tomorrow, up it goes (subject to personal taste, whim, the terms and conditions of my web provider, and other considerations - YMMV).

In other words, blame Adam for today's vid.



William Shatner's Rocketman.

[SPOILERS FOLLOW]

Bernie Taupin is a widely admired lyricist. His collaboration with Elton John is legendary. So when a legendary lyricist comes on stage to introduce someone re-interpreting his greatest work You Know It's Going To Be Something.

And Bill Shatner does not disappoint. Other, lesser artists (Kate Bush for example) would have chosen to sing a song such as this, but not The Shatner. The Shat knew that it was The Power of Acting that would make these lyrics sing. And so, he takes the stage, his dapper tuxedo representing his bold sophistication, his dangling cigarette a sign of jaded ennui so universal it requires no explanation. He begins to speak, and the power of his Acting is so great, the music isn't even needed until the poignant moment when he says he'll be "high! As a kite by then." As the early lyrics of the song progress, his regret at having to leave the earth is palpable. Never have these words been more compelling. And just as you think this couldn't possibly be more powerful, in the middle of the first chorus, through the power of chromakey, Shatner is joined onstage by another Shatner! The resulting by-play between these two facets of of the Rocketman's personality, as represented by not one but two Shatners, their performances separated by time but appearing as one, is one of the most unbeleivable moments in Science Fiction Award Banquet history. I won't even try to let you know what happens next, but just imagine for a moment, what could be better than two Shatners?

This is truly a masterwork, and a fine addition to my stable of video clips for you, the viewer. Adam sent me another link, which I hope to use next week. Forget what I said about blaming Adam for this. It's all me baby. Oh yes.